The petty vengeance thread

[JaysonAych]

The route I take to work is a narrow 2-lane windy, hilly road that cuts through an industrial area. Because this road is unsuitable for big trucks, the city build a big ass 4-6 lane highway running parallel to it about 3/4 of a mile east that goes directly to the interstate about two decades ago. It's flat, well-maintained, and only has a few gentle curves along its 4 or 5 mile stretch. Unfortunately, in order to save a half-mile, big trucks will still routinely take the narrow-ass road to the interstate instead.

This happened last week. I'm coming up on a green light and a rig coming in from the right pulls up to the intersection, stops, then makes a right-turn on red right in front of me. I'm the only fucking car on the road and if he'd waited literally 5 seconds I wouldn't have had to slow down to 10 MPH and crawl up all these fucking hills while waiting for him to figure out which gear he needed to be in. Again, I don't know exactly where he was coming from, but if he went the other direction on that side street, he'd have been on the highway in no time.

I knew which way he was going, and that I would soon have my revenge.

A couple of miles down the road, there was a stop light that split into a left-turn lane, straight-through lane, and right-turn lane. The interstate is off to the right. When we got to the split, he went right as I expected, I went straight and stopped at the red light, and put the right-side tires of my car juuuuust inside the stripe separating the lanes, ensuring he couldn't swing his rig out wide enough to make a right-turn on red and that he'd just have to wait for me to go.

Any recent acts of petty revenge that you've undertaken recently that made you feel like life didn't suck so much for at least a few minutes?

[SBF]

I normally just get back at the assholes that can't bear to wait for me to pass a slower car on the interstate.

They dive over to the right lane and I lean into the throttle to close the gap so they can't get around me. They're going so damn fast as it is, they can't tell that I speed up.

It's even more fun when you can do it twice.

[Talon]

Haha, nice one, Jay.

Every day I come home from work, the freeway exits onto a road that's three lanes. Well, within ~1/8 mile those three lanes go down to two, and about another 1/8 of a mile they go down to one. Both times the lane on the right turns into a right turn only lane. There are also two lights in this span.

As you can imagine, there are always a couple of assholes that try to speed up and cut in front of others, and cut between them at the last second. I do love it when I am in the Evo and jump in the left most lane immediately after the freeway exit, the first light is red, and I am first in line. As I am waiting there numerous assholes pull up in the right lane looking to cut in front of me, and/or anyone else before the next light ~1/8 mile up when their lane turns into a right turn only.

So when the light turns green I goose it a little to make sure they can't get in front of me. So about half way to the second light, they realize it ain't gonna happen so they slow down to get behind me... since typically there is now a huge gap between me and the car behind me. So as they slow down to pull in behind me, I slow down too.

Eventually I let them behind because I'm not trying to get in an accident, but it's just fun sometimes...

[Turbojett]

I've been having a lot of assholes tailgating me lately. Since I've grown up, I've realized that brake-checking is dangerous, irresponsible and potentially expensive if said asshole doesn't get on his brakes soon enough. Still, fuck you, I'm not speeding up for some asshat who has a problem with me going well over the speed limit and it's not fast enough for their ass.
That's when I inundate them with a post-aero washer fluid spray. Usually works. Plus, everyone has a clean windshield. It's a service really.

There is also a time a long time ago where some guy was just generally being a total douchebag, so I challenged Mr. Douchebag to a race at a stoplight, Knowing full well there was a cop camped out in a parking lot just ahead (I'd passed by a few minuets earlier). Light turned green, and he sped off in a squeal of tires and I just moseyed on my way as the cop flew off his perch and ran him down.

[Honor]

I just lay on the horn. I have Hellas on the WRX so its pretty loud.

[Turbojett]

*bump*
I've noticed a lot more people honking at me or others like the moment the light turns green, or it's safe to turn onto the street. That just pisses me the fuck off. Did I not get my foot off the brake fast enough for you asshole?!
So I (jokingly of course) thought of carrying a paintball gun around in the car, and the moment somebody does that shit, just whip out with it and unload that shit onto their windshield.

...then again, with my luck, they'll probably have a concealed carry license and faster reflexes...

[thewalrus]

[tut]

there's a belgian saying: "there's no shorter timeframe in existence, than the timeframe between the light turning green, and the person behind you honking their horn"

[Turbojett]

[Talon]

What is roll coal? I assume that means a diesel punches it and fills your front windshield with that black smoke...?

[Turbojett]

that's exactly it. I hate that so much. I mean, how do they get away with that? How do they even pass inspections?

[thewalrus]

[Turbojett]

I suppose so. I don;t know how they do it. Maybe they take whatever it is that does it off once a year and put it back on when they pass inspection. I don't fucking know. But yeah, every so often you'll run across one of these douchebags that are pissed off that you weren't doing 20+ over the speed limit on a surface street and wasted like .002 seconds of their time, so they do a flyby on you and belch this thick black cloud right on you for several yards in front of you that lingers for minutes.
I have never wanted to blow somebody's head off so badly.